Current Events of the Houston BDSM Club Erotic Rose Society (EROS)
Monday, February 01, 2010
Looking forward to the Superbowl Party this Sunday--should be a fun time.
I'm also gonna get Jean to do a reprise of the cutting demo we saw at Lyons Den recently. Its a way to use transfers to create "artistic" cuttings instead of just "primal cuttings" (or non-artists wielding knives). She tried it at the demo, and loved it. Also, the cutting came out really pretty--she cut a blue bird of happiness into a long-time cutting partner.
I did want to address one thing--outting. People have a confused notion of what outting is and what it's all about.
The whole idea is designed to protect scene people from getting into trouble with their vanilla life because of their participation in our kinky lifestyle.
To protect our scene life from our vanilla life.
It's not to protect your anonimity at a party--anyone who saw you knows who you are. You want anonymous, stay at home online.
It's not to keep each party's activities super-secret--you're talking kinky folks, whose middle name is gossip (like an almost famous person said "once you're through talking about the weather, what else is there to talk about except people?"). People have cool scenes, and they want to talk about them with other interested parties. Nothing wrong with that.
It's not to protect you from the kinky community knowing you're kinky. Being outted to us means your odds of getting your fantasies fulfilled just went up. And your withdrawal at this point is as easy as cancelling an email address and reinventing yourself as a new one (or not; your choice).
The reason we are so tough on it is that it can have devastating effects on people, and it shows a total lack of respect for the person being exposed. Marriages have been destroyed, families have broken up, and siblings separated over such things--many families find our lifestyle an obstacle they cannot overcome.
The same is true for careers--some can handle kink and some cannot. Being outted at work has destroyed more than one promising career. Each individual handles career and family a little differently, and we have no right to butt our noses into those life-altering relationships.
Its also something you must be on guard for--sharing kink can fool you. Where we feel that instant deep connection in S&M, in vanilla terms we're pretty much strangers. So we should always err on the side of caution when faced with our kinky friend and vanilla people together. Things like don't say his/her name unless you're really sure that is really his/her name. Also, act more like an acquaintance than an old buddy (or they get curious why they've not hear of you before).
Electric Staple Gun Demo by Master Jim and slave marsha
The first thing that was highly emphasized was that this is not a sterile form of play. The staples cannot be sterilized nor can the staple gun. The staples can be disinfected to a point and the gun can be cleaned, to a point. It was also highly recommended that the person receiving the staples update their tetnus shot. Folks with immune blood clotting issues need to consider whether this is a good form of play for them.
One of the disinfectants used was called “Precise”. It can be purchased online at www.cottonballs.com - This is a spray/foam that kills HIV, Hep B and C in a matter of minutes. It also kills TB, Staff, Herpes and Canine Parvo Virus.
You can also find other goodies at cottonballs.com.
Other items on the table were: Duct tape Gloves Electric Staple Gun Staples (very sharp) Paper towels Tegaderm pads Antiseptic pads Sharps container
The staple gun will get blood on it so it was recommended that the staple gun be a one person gun. It was also added that electric is better than hand-held muscle powered because it won’t wear your hand out. And a couple differences brought up between the electric staple gun and medical staple gun is that electric staples don’t crimp inside the skin so don’t require a remover. Also the noise and kick of the electric staple gun is a great mind fuck.
About blood; There will be some or a lot depending on the person (health/diet/medication), the type of play and the size of the staples.
It is very important to do this on fatty/meaty places avoiding any bone and blood vessels/veins. It was mentioned that this would not be good on the penis but the “skin” of the balls may work. Be sure to pay attention to the gun at all time because the staples can shoot out quickly.
Demo –
Master Jim cleaned the outside of slave marsha’s arm with an antiseptic pad wiping from the center out. He then placed a strip of duct tape on the cleaned (not sterile) surface. He pressed the staple gun firmly against the skin until some resistance was felt.He then shot one staple into her arm. He would talk then press the staple gun to her arm, not shoot, and then move away as to play with her head. He then shot 3 – 4 staples in her arm, one right after the other; this with no warm up. Master Jim mentioned that you can over lap the staples and you don’t have to staple onto duct tape. He then shot a staple into marsha’s bare skin on her arm
* I can’t believe she stayed standing*
He shot a few more and asked marsha how it felt and she responded firmly….”Yes, Sir”.
He then slowly removed the tape allowing each staple to pop out with ease….and it was slowly. He also removed the staple that was put directly on her skin with ease.
He punched her arm repeatedly and she loved it.This caused her arm to bleed a little more. This was the hot part….she put some of her blood into her mouth, walked over to her husband Cougar and kissed him. *they are all blood bonded* I wet my pants. Master Jim then cleaned the arm again and placed the Tegaderm pad on.
Last Saturday, MissK presented a class on blood play. Here's her summary of the class:
Bloodkink : The Little Red TabooOk, so who has not cut themselves with a kitchen knife, gotten a papercut, been pricked by a thorn, or had blood drawn by the local vampire…erm.. I mean nurse? Now there are some that pass out at the sight of blood, but for majority of us we slap a band-aid on it, curse a bit, and move right along. In our day to day lives, small amounts of blood are just no big deal. And yet, in the kink world you start drawing blood and some people call you an "edge player". Let's try and explore why.
Think back now to a time long ago, ancient times……ok, so you were not there and it is all hearsay, but there are a few thoughts that have made it through the ages in one form or another around blood.
Let's start with sex, one of my favorite taboo subjects. Sex through religion and society revolves around taboos of all kinds. What does this have to do with blood? Well when we talk sex and fertility, menstrual blood has been link to hundreds of taboos, rituals, rites of passage, and even in some cultures menstruating women are outcasts for a time. Add to it blood at childbirth (which in case you didn't know, childbirth happens because people had sex) and sex and blood become very fully intertwined. What we kinky people do is sexual, no matter how staunchly wrapped in M/s or D/s it is, most practitioners have what is termed hot, intense, mind blowing fucking. We are already doing what some religions and people say is taboo because of floggings and you name it, then mix in the sex, then mix in blood, well aren't YOU just the wild rebel!?
Now let's talk about spirituality. Blood has been called everything from our "life force" to the "fountain of existence" and plays a part in rituals, rites, cleansing and the like all through the ages. Blood is also linked to our hearts which has it's own tremendous symbology. Whether it is kids bonding and creating "blood brothers/sisters" , piercings at an American Indian Sundance, or African rites of passage, we find piercing, cutting, blood bonding and blood letting in hundreds of cultures. In this day and age of blood borne diseases that will strike you dead, being blood bonded has taken on an ever greater significance. In my own personal experiences, the letting of blood is profoundly spiritual and bonding.
So now we move on my favorite component of bloodkink. Fear. In the human mind, loss of blood equals loss of life. It is that fear and connection that wells up in most people as an instrument, especially a very sharp one, comes in close proximity. For many, it is that fear that provides the thrill, seeing the implement, feeling it invade and penetrate the skin, seeing the blood flow. That fear is what makes it be considered "edge play". Despite what the FFA wants you to think, it would take a LOT of work to seriously hurt someone with a small short needle (think thin thumbtack), and the desire of bloodlust really can be attained by little more than that. For many, they play to the fear, not the actual bloodletting itself, letting a single drop of blood be the climax if you will.
Whether you want to rebel against a taboo, create a spiritual experience, or dance on the edge of fear, bloodkink is one of those experiences that can dance the line between them all. I won't begin to go into safety and such, because honestly, if you want to do more than scratch the surface of the skin, create a cut as deep as a papercut, or puncture the flesh like a thorn, most of your experiences can be treated with a really hot fuck, some antibiotic ointment, a band-aid and a kiss. If you are doing more than that, well, seek a professional scarification expert or piercer and make sure the proper tools are at your disposal. I mean, I would light your cigarette without a fire extinguisher but would never do fire batons without one. Play safe, but most of all, make it HOT!
Last Saturday, MissK presented "The Voodo That You Do," a class on D/s rituals. She said that one critical element of a ritual is that it must be enforced, otherwise its a service or a habit. For example, if your submissive always calls you "Sir," that is a sign of respect. If he/she is punished for failing to call you "Sir," that is a ritual. The other requirement is that the action must be meaningful to both parties. It does not have to be meaningful to the rest of the world, but it must mean something to both of you. She presented numerous examples of ritualized forms of address, greetings, table manners (like not eating/drinking until signaled), posture and positioning, etc. The combination of meaningfulness and the mindfulness that the posibility of punishment brings are a powerful force in maintaining a D/s state of mind, anywhere from an undercurrent that only you feel all the way to full-bore 24/7 servitude. A warning to Dominants, however, is that ignoring an established ritual is not just a missed opportunity to add something to the relationship; it is an active negative, because you are blowing off something meaningful. MissK's presentation was excellent, and we're going to have her back soon to present it again--Saturday's class was about half sized, with only about 20-25 people (lots went to RenFaire) and we thought it should be heard by more.
Stephen led us this Saturday to continue the discussion on polyamory that has been raging across the yahoogroup this week.
Since you've been hearing it all week, I'm not gonna rehash the discussion, but it was lively, with lots of different ideas of what poly is, and how tough it is to achieve. But, I think everyone got their opinion represented, and gained some understanding of how others look at it.
Jean took party reservations, and was swamped, as usual. Watch for some changes on parties soon. They are all filling up, sometimes to over-capacity. It puts us in a bad spot, because we hate to turn away our friends, but if we don't and the party overcrowds, it gets tougher to find play space, and other friends complain. When we had fewer members, we could say "come one, come all," but I'm afraid that's gonna have to change. We're just looking at it, and trying to figure out what will be the least hassle, and get the job done. So watch for changed in the fairly near future. Just a heads-up.
Well, Stephen handled class last Saturday, and they apparently had an interesting discussion. Warning: the discussion went into some pretty extreme behaviors--extreme enough that they've never been seen in Houston, as far as I know.
Alright, you've had your warning! Now, here's Stephen's notes on class:
This week we continued a discussion that started online as “Acts of Submission.”
The class started with a general agreement that the single most submissive act a bottom can do is to give a blowjob. Blowjobs are followed very closely by the second most submissive act, angry-doggy-style-hair-pullin’-mean-anal-sex. After everyone in the meeting came to that agreement, I allowed other people to speak. >:-D
We started with submissive acts that are subtle enough to do in public without calling attention to the lifestyle. - A submissive calling the Top (insert Dom(me), or Master as applies to your relationship) Daddy or Mommy, since the parents in many vanilla families do that as well. - Holding the submissive’s wrist instead of their hand takes away a layer of control without being blatant. - Opening doors, lighting cigarettes
It was pointed out that just how the act is submissive depends on the relationship of those involved. Opening a car door for another may be the act of a submissive taking care of his Domme, the act of a Dominant “caring” for his submissive, or it may be a completely vanilla gesture of good manners. Cooking dinner, bathing someone, getting a drink for them… unless you know the relationship of the people involved, it is difficult to tell by just watching who is Top and who is bottom.
Using small acts of submission can help a couple begin to “gear up” for a scene or a weekend party by helping both start to get into play headspace. A comment was made that the same type of acts of submission can help mitigate sub or Top “drop.” Travis mentioned a couple that have a different style of play, in which the submissive actually goes thru her drop during the scene. It’s kind of extreme, so if you have a weak stomach, I’d skip to the last paragraph now.
By way of background information, the couple is known for doing a certain type of demo, which they call “Extreme Degradation.” The submissive involved is an attractive lady, who thrives on being objectified and reviled during a scene. She wants the most humiliating and disgusting things done to her during a scene, but she takes what is done to her, after she’s gone thru the scene, and uses it as a source of strength. She uses it as a reminder she is no better, and no worse, than anyone else. Kinda like “that which does not kill me makes me stronger.” The scenes revolve around stripping away her dignity, but simply making it thru the scene imparts a degree of dignity upon her.
The scenes will start with lots of plastic dropcloths and a small wading pool. (This is NOT a Gallagher show! If offered a raincoat or plastic, either cover up or move back!) The submissive is given Ipecac to cause her to vomit, and an enema, and then she is force-fed, all the while telling her how disgusting she is. The scene progresses thru the forced eating, purging, anyone interested is allowed to piss on her, more enemas until she’s covered in filth. At the end of the scene, the Top throws a tarp over her in the pool.
This is where she is hitting her “drop”. She’s been told how repulsive and worthless she is. She’s been covered in slop, forced to purge, strangers pissed on her as she lay in a pool of her own vomit and shit. She’s been forced about as low as you can go. And for her, everything after the scene is following the path back up. As she cleans up, instead of crashing, she gets energized. She suffered thru the worst and is stronger for it. So she never gets “sub drop” after they play. leslie says she’ll take a little depression after a party instead. Maybe a little spanking on Wednesday night.
If anyone needs a kids wading pool, we have one for sale. If you skipped to this point, we’ll even buy you lunch. Just don’t be surprised if no one else is hungry.
